FIRE$IDE CHAT$
"Last Month" dept.
President Franklin Roosevelt had gathered his cabinet for an emergency meeting.
FDR: Well guys, let’s cut to the chase. The Fireside Chats aren’t going to be free anymore.
Frances Perkins, Sec’y of Labor: Sir?
FDR: That’s right. I want a paywall from now on. Can’t be just giving away these pearls of wisdom anymore. No pun intended.
Perkins: That seems hinky. Especially in a time of war.
FDR: Think about it. Think of what it would have meant if we gave the Pearl Harbor speech only to paying customers, maybe a week before everyone else.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Harold Ickes, Sec’y of the Interior: It feels dishonest. Disingenuous.
FDR: Big word, Icky. But you’re looking at it the wrong way.
Ickes: If only a few rich people had known about Pearl Harbor, they could have—they could have manipulated the markets. It’s like insider trading.
FDR: Now you’re thinking.
Ickes: But it just seems wrong! You’re the president!
FDR: Look at Churchill. He had a paywall for those “This is England’s finest hour” speeches.
Perkins: I don’t think Churchill had a paywall.
FDR: Pretty sure he did. I’ll look into it and get back to you.
Winston Churchill
Sec’y of War Henry Stimson: Sir, with all due respect, imagine if “Yesterday, Dec. 7, 1941, a day which will live in infamy”….imagine if most people didn’t hear that until sometime later.
FDR: That’s why we have good sound editors! How hard would it be to send out a second round of “Free Fireside Chats” that go, “Last month, Dec. 7, 1941….”
Stimson: I think if we’re at war, the general public needs to know that. Deserves to know that.
Eleanor Roosevelt
FDR: Then let them damn well pay for it! Everyone expects a free ride! I’m supposed to tell ‘em what’s going on for nothing!? You think Eleanor’s furs are just handed out?!
Sec’y of Agriculture Henry Wallace: Well I really think you should reconsider.
FDR: I think it would be pretty simple to get a new Secretary of Agriculture.
Wallace: Sir!
Henry Wallace
FDR: In fact, all of you. You’re all fired!
Perkins: Sir, I think you should calm down. We can’t agree with everything you say. Especially when it’s a bad idea.
FDR: (Grumbling, unintelligible)
Stimson: Why don’t we agree to revisit this idea at the next meeting.
FDR: Fine. In the meantime, I’m gonna announce a new allied offensive in Europe. But I’ll be damned if I’m gonna tell everybody.
Ickes: Sir?
FDR: Just tell the Democrats. And just the ones who donated to my campaign. And just tell the governors of the blue states.
Perkins: Sir, that doesn’t seem ethical.
FDR: Ethical schmethical! Somebody’s gonna get a jump on the stock exchange, and it ain’t gonna be Wendell Willkie and that crowd!
—
“We Will Not Be Divided”:
Great song Dan, but our country is divided. Especially the Democratic Party. They do not know what message is appropriate for their party. DSA or traditional Donkeys. Their division will ultimately be their downfall.
Ramblin Jack had the best solution.All of us should get necked and dance around the banana tree in the rain. Then we would be less divided. Common cause and common sense solution.
Patty Griffin will be performing Friday August 7 at Duling Hall in Jackson, MS. One of my favorite chick singers. I was disappointed when I went to Ticket Master and found out that her concert was sold out.
It’s almost as if you were there. New Deal sausage makers.