Moose Races

Gotta do Something dept.

Now that Canada is officially inferior to the US in hockey, one wonders what they’ll do north of the border to regain some sense of athletic pride.

For so long they could simply point to the rink, and sneer, and snicker and say, “Eat it, eh?”

Or something like that.

But now? I’m actually a little concerned how this will play on the Canadian psyche.

To bank on this proud heritage for so long, to assume you’re better in something, dominant even, only to discover that it’s well, over.

Perhaps it’s the wrong border we’re worried about.

Maybe the folks in northern Montana, and Wyoming, and Minnesota, and Maine, should be on the lookout for Mounties seeking revenge.

Before it gets to that, I have a suggestion. For the Canadians to regain their prestige, their honor, their sense of themselves.

I figure, it’s only to our benefit for them to feel a semblance of national dignity.

So here it is.

Ready?

Moose Races.

Yep. That’s right.

Moose Races.

When those big suckers really get going, they can lope along at about 35 miles per hour.

Or, if you prefer kilometers per hour, which everyone interested in Moose Racing presumably would, we’re talking over 55.

55 kph!

I’d go see that.

The most difficult part, I’m guessing, would be getting a Moose saddled up and getting on top of him and getting him used to the reins and when to go and all of that.

Moose Race (artist’s conception)

There is this to consider: Moose are not considered very smart. They are aggressive, unpredictable, and nearly impossible to train.

Still. You’ve got to start somewhere.

Hockey seems done.

There’s plenty of Moose up there.

I hope it goes well.

Bonne chance avec L’orignal!

—

Here’s a song that has Moose in it.

“Lightnin’ Jazz” (recorded with Jane’s Great Dane):