Stoppage Time
Clever Ball dept.
They said this would never be a soccer country.
But with the World Cup having come to North America this summer, things are changing.
A recent Dodgers-Cubs game was at 9-5 Dodgers after nine innings.
But the umpire said to play on.
Then, in the top of the 11th, with two outs and the Dodgers ahead 9-7, the umpire declared the game over.
Shohei Ohtani of the Dodgers and Pete Crow-Armstrong of the Cubs traded jerseys and the teams returned to their respective dugouts.
During a tennis match in St. Louis, at 4-2 in the decisive third set, the match was deemed concluded. The players shook hands and left the court.
Spanish kids, Valencia, Spain
A Waffle House in Arkansas closed just after midnight. It was the first time it had closed since it opened in 1955. The manager waved his arms and everyone cleared out.
On I-17, between Phoenix and Flagstaff, Mel Killingspeth was pulled over by an officer and given a ticket for being offsides. Killingspeth was unsure what it meant to be offsides, but he paid his fine of $115 and returned to Phoenix, where he began his trip to Flagstaff once again.
All place names were declared to be plural from now on. Thus, Los Angeles are burning, Atlanta are having a heat wave, and Miami are muggy.
At a Wells Fargo branch in Eugene, Oregon, Ted Ellsworth deposited $120 into his account. But after a video review, Ellsworth was clearly seen to have bumped the teller. The transaction was canceled, and Ellsworth’s account was closed.
Lionel Messi
In a pickleball game one morning in Louisville, a Ms. Cohen hit a ball that struck her opponent’s midsection. Ms. Cohen was sent off, and her partner was left to play 1-against-2 for the remainder of the day, plus the following game two days later.
Louis Carter, of Bangor, Maine, was delinquent paying a phone bill. Normally he had until the 25th of the month, but the phone company suddenly changed the due date to the 21st, and Carter’s service was discontinued.
And so it goes. We are now a soccer country.
I had more to say, but the folks at Substack told me to wrap it up.
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Song: “Killian Mbappe”:
Once. I saw Dan Bern tell a whole room full of old time midwesterners, "Read my substack. It'll change your life."
If it was the old Bible church, I'd have stood up and said, "I read it, and it did." But, figuring I missed the whole testimonial part of the Midwestern program and not wanting to bother anyone, I sat quietly and just smiled.
It seemed bold at the time.
I have read it tho. And it does.
This is a really fun post.
Dan is clearly attempting to earn the FIFA Peace Prize in the future.