Unnessessary War

A B C dept.

Everyone’s saying “War of Choice,” as though that were the most damning thing, that because you could choose to have war and choose not to have war and you choose to have war—as though that were the most damning thing.

Well, it’s not the most damning thing. Not even close.

Personally, I like “Unnessessary War.” I know, I probably misspelled it. But I also know, at least I think I know, that there’s at least two sets of double letters (and when I say “at least” I mostly mean “exactly.”).

I figure if I double all three of the doubling contenders (contendatore doble), at worst I would get two right.

But anyway. It’s not just Unnessessary, this war..

There’s other words. Probbaly (new spelling, mine) one for every letter of the current English alphabet.

Asinine War

Bullshit War

Crockashit War.

Distraction War

Ego War

You get the idea? I should go on? Yes?

Fucked-up War

Godawful War

Hellbent War

Inane War

Jingo War

Knucklehead War

You get the idea. I don’t have to do them all. Do the rest yourself. I’ll take “Q,” “Quagmire War” and “Xenophobe War” but you can take it from here..

And ”U,” I obviously already have the “U.”

Oh, what the heck.

Loser War.

Megalomaniac War.

Nincompoop War.

Oligarch’s War

Poop War.

Quagmire War.

Anyway.

I’m hoping things hold together more or less at least til the end of the NCAA Tournament.

I guess I have a horse or two in the race.

Three really.

But really one.

I don’t really care, but you know. You get pulled in.

And then there’s the European clay court season.

If my hip feels better, I’m thinking it might not be too late to make a run.

Not hard courts, OK.

But on the clay….

If I just slice everything.

They might not be used to the pace.

If they’re really good on clay, like Nadal, or Alcaraz, obviously they are going to run around and smash the ball and there’s nothing much you can do.

But that’s in, like, the semis or the finals of the French Open!

I’m talking early rounds, maybe even Qualifying. Monte Carlo. Barcelona. Rome.

Iga Swiatek, 4-time French Open champion

If I just slice.

On the clay….

Clay is really about patience.

And with that slice….

But, the hip. It’s all about the hip.

First known “Mural di Tenis,” 126 BC, Tzechacoatlian

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Here is a fine, award-winning film (6th place—*Magenta ribbon*—the Vladivostok Film Festikh, in 2010), which displays my hitting prowess and the fact that I came extremely close during the course of the film (and may have succeeded!—but you’ll have to watch the film for yourself!) to hitting with none other than Rafael Nadal himself! Here’s the film, entitled, “Nadal Y Yo En Madrid.”